Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Home

My first year of college is over. I have learned so much! From my teachers, the Bible, how to write better (kinda) and learning time managment, finances, creating friendships, getting involved in the church, all those things. I have had many times where I have wanted to rip my hair out and become anxious and worry about something that is not lasting. My grades are a big part of college but it cannot be my worth and I will learn from my mistakes and I will get better. I am so thankful for the Lord and the friends he has given me as accountability to get through. I have now been home for a few days and I have finally been able to take a deep breath and relax. I have really enjoyed the time I have had with my family so far. I see how God is still moving even while I have been away. I expect everything to have stayed the same when I came back, and even though much has stayed the same, much has changed. I can say I am thankful for changes I have seen. I'm thankful to see my mom closer in her relationship with the Lord and seeing my sister getting involved in a church and growing closer with the Lord. I'm thankful that God has even revealed to me some areas that I should be praying more for in my life. My family specifically. My dad and my step-mom for example, they are receptive to the gospel but I pray I would get to see real life change and fruit poured out from their lives. And when my sister came into town and as her and I had some time to spend alone, we both talked about how we felt burden to say hello to our grandfather...I haven't talked to in three years...We were both so nervous as we headed over there. Sad thing is he only lives five minutes away from home. He was so different, I saw him and he was skin and bones. I had prepared myself for it, but even then it was difficult. I saw my sister crying, wiping away her tears, as she held onto my grandfathers hand. Both of us had memories that flooded our head. It is hard when there is family strife and as grandchildren you just want to remember the "good old days." I don't want to hang on to any bitterness, or anger, or strife, I don't want to pretend like my grandpa is dead like everyone else has, when hes still alive! Seeing him I know had brought me a lot of peace, reconnection, and even some closure so that if anything did happen to him I wouldn't be torn apart with guilt because I decided to take everyones word that the grandpa I knew was gone. God is really working in my heart and preparing it before I officially start my internship in Virginia and I am so thankful for this time. I can say a million times over that I am so thankful that I have a mom and a sister and some other closer family that truly knows the Lord and they encourage me and uplift me and God has actually used me on a number of occasions to be a light to them and I couldn't have asked God for a greater blessing.

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