A Movie

Generally a movie conveys meaning, a thrill, or maybe just a happy or funny moment in time to escape from reality.
“The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” for some odd reason, played on ALL my emotions.

You either love it or hate it. In my case I loved it and hated it. It brought back memories, some good, some bad; it showed pain; it showed joy; but the ultimate reality that hit me was the underlying tone of hopelessness. Others may disagree with me on this because so it seemed that the movie had it’s “happy ending.” It still left me in utter despair at the end of the movie crying in pain. And I know why…my worldview as a Christian makes me see through lenses completely different than everyone else. This is not a bad thing; this is a good thing. Though it makes me heart feel so vulnerable and easily crushed. If anything, it spurs me on to be real about my faith and want to share it. I had heard the phrase ”you keep to yourself and do what works for you and I’ll do what works for me.” It’s not that simple. I cannot keep to myself. If I truly believe there is only one God, that we broke relationship with him, that we are now separated from him, and that there is only one that was perfect enough (Christ) to reunite us with God, and I truly believe in hell, a place eternally separate from God…WOULD I NOT BE A HORRIBLE PERSON NOT TO TELL EVERYONE I KNEW! If I truly walked around believing there was a hell and I truly walked around believing there is a Magnificent, Holy, Loving God, and there is a way to once and for all to be re-united with him, wouldn’t it seem more uncaring of me to say I believe and never share it with others? I don’t want anyone…anyone to perish.

No matter who you are, or what religion, I think most people would agree that death is devastating. It still hurts and it never feels “natural” that someone should just die. There is mourning over death; the departure of a person from this life. So if we were to make our life into a movie there really would be no such thing as a Happily Ever After…and if we were to make it to “The End” of our life movie it would always be a sad ending because everyone’s life ends in death! And even in a Christian worldview, where I truly believe that even after death there really is a “Happily Ever After,” death is not easy to swallow.

This is why I want to still do counseling, this is why I want to work with kids, and I want to deeply cherish and love people…because this is the only hope I have…and if I didn’t have it I’m not so sure I would be around today. Because even as a Christian I have to fight for the joy I have in Christ because this world is still tough and I still have problems just like everyone else but I have hope in God that keeps me going.

What kind of hope is it to think we have just evolved and are now in control of our own lives? Our lives are always out of control, we can never really predict what is going to happen next. To think we just die and that’s it. Your dead and no one is more than likely going to remember you after 100 years.

Or what about trying to earn favor with God…because my goodness that has to be tiring. I mean how many good works do we have to do to “earn” God’s favor? How do we know that we have truly done more good than bad? Is it because we follow the laws here on earth? Well if we are all sinful what makes us think following laws here on earth matter in the kingdom of heaven? It may make us “good” in the standards of the world, but not in the standards of a Holy and perfect God.

I love the fact that I can finally admit that I am so messed up and that I can’t do it on my own! That I have a God willing to love me despite how much I fail…and now I can fall in the arms of my savior and say “SAVE ME!!! I CAN’T DO IT! I NEED YOU, I NEED YOU!” I don’t have to worry about controlling my life and messing it up, I don’t have to worry about trying to do enough good to cancel out my bad…He did it all. I have a savior I can trust in and want to love Him and all people while I am here on this earth…until I can one day be reunited with him for all eternity and knowing I had given all my effort to share this with as many people as I could here in this world. And I desire to see YOU right there with me in eternity.

Much Love.
Rachel